WipeAssRight

Wiping Ass Correctly

One of the things I hate the most is walking into a public restroom, opening the stall door, and seeing either the load in the toilet could not completely flush or the person just did not flush in general because all they did was WAD the paper and smear their ass.

The question is, why do we wear underwear? From my stand point, it’s because your parents didn’t teach you how to wipe your ass correctly, and you need secondary toilet paper to leave skid marks on to finish wiping your ass.

As I have experienced in my life, a lot of people do not know how to wipe their ass correctly. Most just get toilet paper, wad it up, and smear it all over their ass cheeks.

This shows how little the parents knew of bathroom etiquette of what to teach their children.

Example 1, anyone can fry hotdogs over a fire, then there is learning how to make food correctly.

Example 2, anyone can kick and punch, then there are the fighters than learned a style that looks like a dance.

No wonder so many people are scratching their asses in public. They’re savages still using their hands with their secondary toilet paper (underwear).

Now, let me first teach you of the 3 wipes. There is folding, there is wrapping, and then there is wadding.

Let us start in reverse with wadding. Wadding is yanking a bunch of toilet paper off the roll in a ball just like so.

Next is wrapping. It is taking the toilet paper and wrapping it several times around your hand. Second is sliding it off your hand to flatten it. It is like a combination of wadding and folding. It is still messy and slightly brainless like wadding.

Last, the appropriate wipe is folding. Clean, manageable, elegant…civilized. There is nothing else to say…wipe your ass right and clean with a fold. 4 sheets usually is enough. 6-8 if you do not feel 4 is strong enough, but that number has not failed me yet. Once wiped dry, then make one last fold, and moisten it to clean any last excrement, crap that will dry and itch.

(Please, wipe me right…)

ChallengingClass

Challenging a Class

What is in challenging a class? Challenging a class is focusing all your time and ability towards learning and attaining affirmation that you have knowledge of the subject. There are four steps, after you have the syllabus, to challenging a class; finding the correct teacher, book work, labs (if assigned), and testing, in that order. In finding the correct teacher, you must find a teacher teaching the subject you want/need to challenge and make sure they will allow you to challenge the subject. I for one don’t see the problem in challenging a class since you can’t cheat it and the teacher just has to provide the tests.

Book Work:  Book work is simply reading the chapters (however you may like) and doing the chapter questions and doing whatever other work the teacher might have assigned.

Labs:     After the book work, either after each chapter or the whole book(s), do your labs if any were assigned.

Testing: Testing is simple. The teacher just gives you all the tests he/she deems proper. If you pass, you pass.

Challenging a class is mostly for visual learners since they are the most apt for the process, but neutral and audio learners could give it a shot.

Our body physically responds 5-10 times faster to what we hear, but we intellectually interpret what we see 2-3 times faster to what we hear. People try to generalize response and interpretation as the same, but that is where the research fails.

School is not like a job. Team work is an illusion no matter how many people might try to defend it.

In school, it is One for One and only you. Going ahead of the class is encouraged since in school, you are trying to show-up everyone else in class as being more intelligent.

Again, school is NOT a work environment therefore there is NO team work.

Isaac Newton challenged all his classes as he never attended a class room setting…

If you can think of anything else that I have not thought of as a necessity of challenging a class, then please, tell me.

MTGUnofficialLandRules

Magic the Gathering

Unofficial Land Rules

Special Single Land Rules

          Any land cards that produce a single general mana type are also counted as the general land that would produce that mana.

          For example, Urborg from Legends, producing black mana therefore counts as a legendary swamp, Tolaria from Legends, producing blue mana therefore counts as a legendary island, Teferi’s Isle from Mirage, producing 2 blue mana therefore counts as a legendary island, Abandoned Outpost from Odyssey, primarily produces white mana therefore counts as a plains, Ancient Den from Mirrodin, produces white mana therefore counts as a plains. Icatian Store of Fallen Empires, produces white mana therefore counts as a plains even though production of mana is by slightly different rules.

Colorless or “BARREN” Land Rules

A Colorless or BARREN land is a land that primarily creates colorless mana. I use the word BARREN to symbolize that the land is stagnant of creating, in general, one of the 5 basic mana types. Primarily means that in the top of its text, it says “add one colorless mana to your mana pool”, or something similar, as the first ability.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/barren?s=t

          In the text of certain colorless/BARREN land cards, you can create other types of mana through certain circumstances like Adarkar Wastes which primarily creates colorless mana, but can create white mana or blue mana with a cost. When this card creates the other mana, its secondary ability, it temporarily becomes the general land type of that mana (creates blue mana, temporarily becomes an island until untapped and/or ability is done, rendered finished (as long as something is tapped, its ability is still in use, unless said otherwise)).

          In the text of other colorless/BARREN land cards like Shivan Gorge, a legendary barren, you can “tap” for a colorless mana or use its secondary ability to do 1 damage to each of your opponents. Other interesting BARREN land cards are An-Havva Township from Homelands, Aysen Abbey from Homelands, Blinkmoth Nexus from Darksteel, and Cathedral of Serra from Legends.

          So, a BARREN land is any land that primarily creates colorless mana.

Specific Dual-Land Rule

All land cards that produce two types of mana, i.e. dual-lands, are also counted as the basic land types for the mana they produce (if black and blue mana is produced, then the land is counted as a swamp and island). Examples would be Azorius Gate from Return to Ravnica,  producing white and blue mana therefore counts as an island and plains, Orzhov Guildgate from Gatecrash, producing white and black mana therefore counts as a plains and swamp, Akoum Refuge from Zendikar, producing black and red mana therefore counts as a swamp and mountain, Dimir Guildgate from Gatecrash, producing blue and black mana therefore counts as an island and swamp, Salt Marsh from Invasion, producing blue and black mana therefore counts as an island and swamp, and Dreadship Reef from Time Spiral, producing blue and black mana therefore counts as an island and swamp.

          Dreadship Reef might be a specialized dual-land card because of its alternate rules, but because it is a dual-land, the rule still applies of being counted as an island and swamp. As this is a dual-land rule, it does not apply to single specialty lands (Dwarven Hold or Rainbow Vale from Fallen Empires).

Special Land Rules

Rainbow Vale of Fallen Empires is all 5 general land types until it produces the mana of player’s choice.

Crumbling Necropolis from Shards of Alara follows the same rules of dual-lands except for a tri-land.

Rupture Spire from Conflux follows the same rules as Rainbow Vale.

Exotic Orchard from Conflux is all general land types that all opponents control.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Magic:_The_Gathering_keywords

http://magiccards.info

MagicGatheringTurn

Magic the Gathering Player Turn

Step 1: Untap - You untap all your tapped permanents except what can stay tapped for upkeep. On the first turn of the game, you don’t have any permanents, so you just skip this step. No one can cast spells or activate abilities during this step.  

Step 2: Upkeep - This part of the turn is mentioned on a number of cards. If something is supposed to happen just once per turn, right at the beginning, an ability will trigger “at the beginning of your upkeep.” Players can cast instants and activate abilities.

Step 3: Draw - You draw a card from your library. (The player who goes first skips the draw step on his or her first turn to make up for the advantage of going first.) Players can then cast instants and activate abilities.

Step 4: First Main Phase - You can cast any number of sorceries, instants, creatures, artifacts, enchantments, and planeswalkers, and you can activate abilities. You can play a land during this phase, but remember that you can play only one land during your turn. Your opponent can cast instants and activate abilities.

Step 5: Combat Phase Steps

A.   Declaration of Combat - This is the first part of combat that you declare your attack.

B.   Pre-Combat Spells – Players cast instants and activate abilities that are required to be used before attackers are declared.

C.   Declaring Attackers – Time to decide which untapped creatures will attack, and which player and/or planeswalker will be attacked. This taps the attacking creatures without vigilance or vigilance-like abilities. Players can then cast instants and activate abilities.

D.   Declaring Blockers - Your opponent decides which, if any, of his or her untapped creatures will block your attacking creatures, then they do so. If multiple creatures block a single attacker, you order the blockers to show which is first in line for damage, which is second, and so on. Players can then cast instants and activate abilities. 

E.    Combat Damage - Each attacking or blocking creature that’s still on the battlefield assigns its combat damage to the defending player (if it’s attacking that player and wasn’t blocked), to a planeswalker (if it’s attacking that planeswalker and wasn’t blocked), to the creature or creatures blocking it, or to the creature it’s blocking. If an attacking creature is blocked by multiple creatures, you divide its combat damage among them by assigning at least enough damage to the first blocking creature in line to destroy it before assigning damage to the next one in line, and so on. Once players decide how the creatures they control will deal their combat damage, the damage is all dealt at the same time. Players can then cast instants and activate abilities.

F.    End of Combat - Players can cast instants and activate abilities.

Step 6: Second Main Phase - Your second main phase is just like your first main phase. You can cast every type of spell and activate abilities, but your opponent can only cast instants and activate abilities. You can play a land during this phase if you didn’t during your first main phase.

Step 7: Ending Phase

A.   End - Abilities that trigger “at the beginning of your end step” go on the stack. Players can then cast instants and activate abilities.

B.   Cleanup - If you have more than seven cards in your hand, choose and discard cards until you have only seven. Next, all damage on creatures is removed and all “until end of turn” and “this turn” effects end. No one can cast instants or activate abilities unless an ability triggers during this step.