WipeAssRight

Wiping Ass Correctly

One of the things I hate the most is walking into a public restroom, opening the stall door, and seeing either the load in the toilet could not completely flush or the person just did not flush in general because all they did was WAD the paper and smear their ass.

The question is, why do we wear underwear? From my stand point, it’s because your parents didn’t teach you how to wipe your ass correctly, and you need secondary toilet paper to leave skid marks on to finish wiping your ass.

As I have experienced in my life, a lot of people do not know how to wipe their ass correctly. Most just get toilet paper, wad it up, and smear it all over their ass cheeks.

This shows how little the parents knew of bathroom etiquette of what to teach their children.

Example 1, anyone can fry hotdogs over a fire, then there is learning how to make food correctly.

Example 2, anyone can kick and punch, then there are the fighters than learned a style that looks like a dance.

No wonder so many people are scratching their asses in public. They’re savages still using their hands with their secondary toilet paper (underwear).

Now, let me first teach you of the 3 wipes. There is folding, there is wrapping, and then there is wadding.

Let us start in reverse with wadding. Wadding is yanking a bunch of toilet paper off the roll in a ball just like so.

Next is wrapping. It is taking the toilet paper and wrapping it several times around your hand. Second is sliding it off your hand to flatten it. It is like a combination of wadding and folding. It is still messy and slightly brainless like wadding.

Last, the appropriate wipe is folding. Clean, manageable, elegant…civilized. There is nothing else to say…wipe your ass right and clean with a fold. 4 sheets usually is enough. 6-8 if you do not feel 4 is strong enough, but that number has not failed me yet. Once wiped dry, then make one last fold, and moisten it to clean any last excrement, crap that will dry and itch.

(Please, wipe me right…)